O is for Orc: Free Colouring Page for Kids

Origins & Mythological Mishaps

Most stories cast orcs as warriors. Ours got promoted. Every sword, shield and helmet that leaves the forge passes his clipboard first, and nothing has ever passed on the first try. He polishes armour nobody asked him to polish. He would also like a word about your stitching.

Physical Traits & Quirks

Mighty Tusks

Impressively large, ivory-white, and brushed twice daily. Excellent for opening stubborn jars and holding up scrolls while reading. Less excellent for eating soup.

Thunderous Battle Roar

Can be heard three valleys away and is guaranteed to send birds flying from the trees. It is used almost exclusively to announce that dinner is ready.

Iron Stomach

Can digest rocks, old boots, and questionable stew without complaint. Modern nerd dads note it is the ideal natural alternative to finishing the kids' leftover crusts.

Tactical Advantage

Possesses an intimidating glare that causes low-level attackers to drop their weapons and immediately ask if everything is okay at home. Can be easily bribed with a single bowl of warm stew and a sincere compliment on their armour polish.